To blog or not to blog...

...this is a conundrum!

I've been MIA for far too long and lost my connection with most people on here due to my absence.

That in and of itself was not the problem for me. (Although it's bizarre trying to re-introduce myself!)

For me the problem was that I felt like I revealed just a little too much about myself in a not entirely anonymous blog.

A few people I know in real life (you know, like I could call them if I wanted to!) ended up finding and reading my blog which is OK I guess, but I initiated this space so that I could dump my innermost thoughts, desires and fumble my way to a more creative me.

I ended up revealing too much about my actual life and the extensions of it. This was supposed to be about me and it ended up being more about my daughter and other people. Not that it's a bad thing to write about my daughter. She is my heart and soul! But I want a place to be different from my everyday me...

Make sense?

No?

Fine.

The cheese stands alone... :)

So, I decided to sort of start over.

The poem I wrote last March best describes where and what I've been doing over the last few months.

Essentially, I've been hiding under a rock for a while trying to figure out my life.

I suppose we're always trying to figure out our lives, right?! Hiding under a rock doesn't help!

All I know is that I made it through another winter in tact and now I'm ready for the spring!

So, let me get caught up on what's happening around here and then I'll try to get back on the proverbial horse and get my web feet back in motion!

Hugs to you all!

Song of the Day: Hard by Rihanna

My Quiet Dichotomy

There it is
The darkness
Chasing me

Hiding behind every bend
Seeping into the cracks and crevices
Trying to surprise me

I see it
I hear it
I feel it

I run in every possible direction
I hide from it
I trick it

And yet it finds me
Always

Somehow the darkness
Moving like water
Unstoppable
Blankets over me
Blinds me for a while
Incapacitates me

I hate the dark

There it is
The light

It chases me too
Seeping into the cracks and crevices

I see it
I hear it
I feel it

It finds me
Always

And I run toward it
Making the blanket of darkness lift slightly

And the light holds up the blanket
So that I can run

And get a head start
Outrunning the darkness

While the light stands guard
For all its worth

I love the light

How It All Began...

In spite of the blog title, this isn't a blog about literally chasing Wentworth Miller...or stalking him...or even trying to find out where he lives. There are enough people out there hunting him down...I'm sure he could use a break! :)

I was perusing You Tube recently and came across an interview with Wentworth and Ellen. Now, as a bit of background, my friend has threatened me precisely 7,550 times to within an inch of my life to watch Prison Break so she can chatter incessantly about it, but I just never got around to it. Then, I saw the boy on Ellen (I know he's not a boy. He's a year older than me, but he has a baby face). And there was something about his personality that drew me in (along with every other woman, gay man, most straight men and all animals out there!). Granted, he's an actor and all, but he just struck me as such a down-to-earth guy that I sat and listened. And he's funny and charming and disarmingly calm (except for his fidgeting fingers!) and I was staring at him thinking, "He and I would be fast friends!". I do realize that every other person in the world thinks they can offer up a perfect partnership for him as well, but I really felt like, in a non-celebrity based world, if the world was just a little bit smaller, he and I would be friends. And a thought crossed my mind that I would like to surround myself with people of the same high moral caliber. That doesn't mean I think he's perfect. Actually, the thing that caught my attention the most was the fact that he doesn't seem like a male version of a diva and that's refreshing and impressive considering his legion of fans! I'm quite certain that this sounds like sheer lunacy, but it's my blog and I'll dream if I want to. :) This is my journey to find new friends. My quest is to find the Wentworth Millers of this world to stand by my side.

(Oh, and I watch Prison Break now...and LOVE it!)

Song of the day: Let This Be Our Prayer - Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli