Tuesday, February 17, 2009

10 More Things You Can Use To Blackmail Me With Someday!

So, I've done some lists before and I've babbled on and on like a loon as of late so I doubt that anything I write here will surprise anybody. The ever-lovely Charmaine tagged me to do this (although her tagging experience is something I've never heard of before!).

Let me take a shot at digging a bit deeper and finding new tidbits.

As a side note, when the show Dharma & Greg was on television, I was often referred to by my friends as Dharma because of the odd things/jobs/experiences of my life. Funny how, from the outside looking in, somebody's life can be so intriguing!

Sidethought - Is Henry The Dog and his Mum back yet???

1. I think I am going through early onset menopause. No joking around here. It's disturbing and overwhelming. Truthfully, age is just a number to me. I don't mind telling people I am 35 (36 in 3 days...). It doesn't even bother me to think I might be facing this thing so early. What bothers me is the fact that I am ill-prepared for it! I already deal with rosatia so there's my big ol' heart lambasted on my sleeve every single solitary day. There's never a question about my reaction to things! There's only damage control! But NOW! Holy sweet heaven above! I may or may not have already blogged about my recent hot flashes. I made jokes about it to my friends, but secretly it's a little awkward. Here's what happened 2 days in a row:

---It's -30 Celsius outside and I'm walking toward work. People have their hats, scarves, mitts, hoods, snowpants, winter boots, etc. fully layered and bundled onto themselves. I was walking down the street WITH . MY . COAT . OFF! Wearing a t-shirt. And sweating. Profusely!! We're talkin' swaet running down my back here. On the first day, I was wearing a bright green t-shirt and I didn't get up from my desk. Do you know why? Because the sweat stains under my arms went down to my waist. SERIOUSLY!

Yeah. I know. Not lookin' so cute anymore, huh? :)

And my big ol' SERIOUSLY bright red cheeks glow! I don't wear blush. Ever. But recently, a friend told me I should tone down on the blush because it was just a little too obvious that I was wearing some.

*blink* *blink*

Those were the worst days thus far, but almost every single day I have a few moments of, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" and it's usually just me. Yesterday I stood and waited while my friend tried clothes on. After we left the store and she put on her winter accessories shivering she looked over at me and asked if I was going to put on my jacket. "Nope. I need to let the heat dissipate before I put any other layers on this body o' mine." My skin was hot to the touch and I was, again, adorably sweating like I'd just run a marathon!

2. As crazy as this may sound, it bothers me that people tell me ALL . THE . FRIGGIN' . TIME that I look WAY younger than my years. Yes, I realize that some people might react with, "What? She doesn't look THAT young." Yeah. That's what I think, too. But people say it every day. It makes me want to let my grey hair grow out (trust me there's LOTS!) and yank down my pants to show my saggy butt! OK that might be taking it a bit far, but I always feel like I'm defending myself. I often get overlooked due to my looks even though I act/dress/work like somebody my age with experience. I often get the, "Aw isn't she just adorable look." I want to kick those people. I may look younger than my years on the outside, but I feel much older on the inside. And I'm tired.


Now that my ranting and bitching is out of the way, I can't think of 8 more things...

Oh...wait...got one.

3. I've always wanted to sing somewhere for someone. I almost had the opportunity to sing at my sister's wedding, but she called it off. I was more disappointed in the fact that I wouldn't get to sing at the wedding than the actual dissolution of the relationship. I'm goin' to hell. :) I don't have a great voice. I've never taken singing lessons and I'm horribly shy about singing in public, but I have a nice voice and with the right song I can sing very well. I don't know why I've always wanted to sing for somebody. Perhaps it's just the compliment of being asked? I was supposed to sing Keith Whitley's When You Say Nothing At All at the wedding. I remember my older sister calling me a year later asking if I had recorded a cover of the song. She was referring to the Allison Krauss version of the song that had been released. That was THE nicest thing she could have ever asked me. Of course it wasn't me, but she was SURE it was. Yay! :)

*Is it hot in here??*

4. I shred all of my important papers...after 7 years of diligently keeping them filed away. Much good that's done me. I can't remember ever digging through the papers for anything other than confirmation of what my old address was.

5. I wear a size 8 in shoes (although it can range from 7 1/2 to 9). I just bought these at Zellers. Zellers! I couldn't believe it! They are impossibly cute, they were the last pair left and they fit my feet perfectly. I felt like Cinderella...for $17.51. I also bought a chocolate bar.

6. I played basketball for 3 years in junior high and never knew the rules. I didn't understand the rules of the game at all! I would go to where the ref yelled at me to stand if I had to toss the ball back into the game. I would stand up solid in front of the player my coach told me to stand in front of and hustle my ass to the other end of the court when he screamed at me to do so, but I didn't have a clue about what I was doing. I remember going to a game here in Toronto sitting 4 rows back from courtside and thinking, "I don't know how I didn't understand this!"

7. I like winter scarves and matching gloves/mittens. I probably have a dozen of them. It's a shame because I rarely get to wear them since it's always summer in my body these days! :) Even before my recent episodes I've always had a high core body temperature. I'm like a little Bunsen Burner.

Yet...somehow...my stupid feet are always cold. What's up with that!?

8. My favorite painting is Two Sisters (on a Terrace) by Renoir. It makes me smile every single time I see it. It lights up my heart!

9. I think about traveling around the world every day. I'm a very easy traveler and I think I'll have more fun if I do it alone. I like to slap on a backpack and just go with no set schedule.

10. If I had 3 wishes, they would be:
1. That no person in the world should ever go hungry again
2. That people would NEVER have to worry about whether they can afford life-changing surgery
3. That my mind could rest easy knowing that if I didn't make it through the night, my daughter would be well taken care of without having to take on my debt.

I'm not tagging anybody because I'm too lazy. :) Go ahead and do it. It's like therapy in a little bloggy box!!

***EDIT - I got a great laugh out of doing this tonight! Thank you Charmaine you crazy woman! And Braja...I've lost at least 5 lbs with the whole veggie movement and you've helped with that so THANK YOU! ;)

OMG go read Lilly's Google Anyalitics! I almost peed my pants. Thank God for Depends...:)


  1. Henry is back on the 25th. I miss him and his mum too :)

    I am doing this tomorrow, thanks to Charmaine's big challenge :))

  2. and get that damned word verif OFF!!!

  3. I have word verification!?

    Oh man - I hate that shit!!

    ***moving like lightening to find out what the HELL Braja is talking about!***

  4. Oh I so love those shoes. I love some leopard skin print but only in shoes, bags, scarves or underwear. Your list was great. Gosh well, the whole perimenopuase stuff starts 15 yeas before menopause so you are at the right age for some symptoms I guess. But the veggie diet will be great for those symptoms, you watch! Thanks for the link and glad you had a laugh too.

  5. Sim, dude you crack me up!!

    Is it hot in here, or is it me???

    ITS ME???

    I am always hot too. I sweat profusely.

    Great great list. I love your writing style. Your funny.


  6. Your feet are so pretty! The shoes are great. I love that you didn't know the rules when you played basketball. I was the same way with basketball, softball, and volleyball. I would literally PRAY that the ball wouldn't come my direction.

    Fun post!

  7. Ok this Doctor is in the house, or blog, Re: being too hot, get your thyroid checked. It could be why you are hot and losing weight. I had that happen to me. It's fun to feel more energy, but it is not good for your body to run so high.

    Love those shoes! Nice red polish too.

    You should sing at random times, random places.

  8. Oh, this is so great! Your voice makes me smile.
    And hello, how cute are those shoes? I hate to break it to you, but you've got perfect feet... pretty toes and all.
    Happy Wednesday! :)

  9. ha ha. I figured out how to do the "link" thing...doy.

    "tired of people thinking you are younger?"

    come here...closer....closer....SLAP.

    Love ya, can't help it.

  10. 1. You look hot in your pics in all the good ways.

    2. Should I ever have an event that requires singing, I expect you to show up.

    3. Your toenails are soooo much nicer than mine - this is why you should never drop a sink on your foot.

  11. Awesome if you sound like Allison Krauss. I actually got worried about her because if you saw the Grammys when her & Robert Plant won..he did all the talking - Twice. She didn't say one word. I was so pissed.

    Love the shoes. I can't wear heels for fear that I would break my neck or another important bone in my body.

  12. Is it possible that you are hot because you changed your diet recently and your body is working out all of the crap from the meat and whatnot? Have some SOY...just in case.

    I used to get told I looked much younger and then I had kids. They are sucking the life out of me....

    I sing like a freaking rock star in the car. When I am alone...I SING MY ASS OFF!

    I never shred but I want to....

    My feet are two different sizes which is a HUGE pain in the ass. I love animal print ANYTHING. And Chocolate.

    I played Basketball for one season in school. Had not a clue what I was doing and got my ass kicked every single week.

    I love to travel and hope to do much more of it when my kids are older. I also love to plan trips. I'm a planner.

  13. Ah, a fellow (well, obviously not really -- just metaphorically -- no one in their right minds could mistake you for a fellow) rosacea sufferer. In my case, mine is primarily ocular rosacea which means the infection is in the eye tissue and is intensely painful when outbreak is occur. Fortunately, due to antibiotics, I haven't had an outbreak in 20 years. Hopefully, yours is less pernicious.

    "It makes me want to . . . yank down my pants to show my saggy butt!"

    Please let there be photos.

  14. Janie at Sounding Forth ~ Thanks hun!!

    Braja ~ Loved your list!

    Lilly's Life ~ I'm the same. I like leopard print as accessories. For the most part, I dress very conservatively so these will just throw in a hint of zaniness. I'm hoping the veggie diet helps. We'll see I guess!

    Michelle ~ Thanks so much! I always read how alive you are from your comments! Love it!

    Csquaredplus3 ~ Thanks...I kinda like my feet! They're kinda shaped like bananas, but at least they're not Flintstone feet! :) That is exactly how I felt when I played any kind of ball. "Please, please, please don't let the ball come in my direction!"

    Comedy Goddess ~ I had my thyroid checked, but I'm thinking about going back because something odd is happening!! Thanks Dr. Comedy! I sing all the time at home. I've been trying to drag a friend out to karaoke...she hasn't agreed yet!

    Robin ~ Thank you about the comment on my voice. :) I absolutely, totally love the shoes! No perfect feet, but I like them.

    Charmaine ~ I know! I know!! People tell me to stop bitching about it. I'll probably dream about it when I'm older.

    Amanda ~ Awwww *blush* thank you! I'll TOTALLY sing for you after that compliment! Dropping a sink on my foot doesn't sound like fun so I'll make a note not to ever do that! :)

    Jodi ~ I didn't see the Grammy's so not sure what happened there. I have a fairly high voice so I do soft rock ballads fairly well. Then again, I can do the Sheryl Crow Picture song too. I usually only wear shoes at work where I'm sitting down most of the time! :)

    Connie Weiss ~ The diet change could be a possibility. I'm not necessarily worried about it. Just embarrassed! I eat edamame like it's going out of style!!
    I love my daughter wholeheartedly, but I feel very tired because parenting is a struggle every single day. When I'm alone I think I can sing just about everything!!!! Jann Arden's Living Under June is my favorite to screech at the top of my lungs! I don't know what I would do if I had two different sized feet. I can barely afford 1 pair!! Perhaps I will have you plan my first BIG trip! :)

    Hedgie ~ There will be no pictures of my saggy bottom! Nobody wants that happening I can assure you! Rosacea...yes that's the correct spelling! :) I am bright glowing red every day at least 10 times per day. It's been noticeably worse this year. I hope it clears up...

  15. "There will be no pictures of my saggy bottom!"

    Rats. I am crushed. Women's bodies that have actually been lived in are far more attractive and -- yes -- sexy than any scrawny model's or Playboy Bunny's.

  16. Those shoes ROCK! And the price and pedicure are just gravy! Nice!

  17. Great list but I'm not sure any of the items on it will attract any serious blackmailers. How much are you will to pay someone to keep from revealing you wear size 11 shoes. Hey, come to think of it, I wear size 11 shoes! But those pumps might not look so good on me...but if I wore them...now that might be blackmailable!

  18. I have those exact same shoes! And someday, we should get together and wear our leopard print shoes so you can sing to me!

    You must also tell me about this veggie movement some more!

  19. Hedgie ~ No scrawny happenin' here and no serious complaints about my butt. I like lived in too. It seems more real to me!!

    Another Kiran in NYC ~ I know! These shoes are so adorable! And the pedicure is compliments of my daughter. We painted each others toes! :)

    Butler and Bagman ~ LOL! I just had a visual of those shoes in size 11...on a man! Interesting and yes probably blackmailable! :)

    Rachel Tamed ~ Your message came through loud and clear...4 times! :) Perhaps someday we can hook up and go sing karaoke wearing our matching shoes! :) I'm still figuring out the veggie thing. So far, it's been lots of beans and vegetables. I'll let you know when it gets exciting!

  20. I like your list. You may want to rethink the shoe pics though, I think you may be attracting foot fetish readers. Just sayin. *wink*


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